BACK FROM MIAMI!! KURT LOCKWOOD SIGNS CONTRACT WITH PLAYBOY!! (clik for pixxx)
"Veni. Vidi. Vicci."
- Julius Caesar
"The World Is Yours"
- as seen in SCARFACE, written by Oliver Stone
"When I am king, you will be fast against the wall / with your opinion which is of no consequence at all..."
- Thom Yorke, Radiohead, "Paranoid Android," OK COMPUTER (the greatest record of all time.)
Hey everybody!
Welcome back. Still recovering from my trip to Miami. Jet Lag sux. It's all a dim blur but I'll try to piece together a couple of highlights for ya... hmmm... well, I stayed at the DELANO hotel in South Beach, Miami. I didn't find out til after I came home that Madonna owns the hotel or she did or something like that. The Delano is right in the heart of everything on 17th and Collins (for those of you who know the area.) The funny thing about Miami is how much it still looks like "MIAMI VICE" from the eighties. Everything looks like it was built in the height of art deco in the fifties. Remember all those pastel blues and pinks Don Jonson wore on Miami Vice? Well, that's the colors that light up every single hotel, no shit. THe Delano was no exception. In fact I was floored to find that the entire hotell staff wore a white linen jacket just like the one that Don Jonson wore, I shit you not, it was fucking hilarious, I was looking for Tubbs at every corner. I will say this for the Delano staff, they have the best service I have ever seen anywhere, almost to a fault. When you check in, they line up and introduce themselves to you, this wouldn't be so bad except that there were like seven of them that each shook my hand and gave me their name (like you could ever remember all those names off the bat) It was cool but very weird. When you step on the elevator, more pastel pink lights, I can only imagine the poor fools who've climbed into this tiny box on some form of mind altering substance only to be freaked out in their art deco trip cell, yeaarrghhh!!! The room was all white, I mean all white, hospital white, or perhaps given the area code, yayo white, haha. Here was the view of South Beach from my hotel room.
Other highlights included an amazing dinner at a restaurant called "TANTRA." Other highlight: I took a jog on the beach and was delightfully surprised to find that South Beach is a bathing suit top optional beach. I thought it was funny that I could still be surprised after all I've seen in porn but I guess it's all context. Anyway, there were many lovely Latina women with ample breastage for a red-blooded American male like myself to feast his eyes. Then, as I made my way back to the hotel from the private beach, I passed all the topless girls at the hotel pool and notice that one of them was reading the issue of the FACE magazine that I am currently in. Half of me felt like grabbing the mag and going "That's me! That's me!" and the other half of me was like "Oh God, hurry up and get upstairs before she recognizes you from the full-page pic." It was a strange moment. Let's see what else...oh yeah... I went to this strip club called (get this) the "BADA BING" yep, just like on the SOPRANOS. What's more is that I met the guys who own it and they were huge Italian guys in track suits, haha, just like James Gandolfini and crew. I thought it was hilarious. I mean I thought the aforementioned Don Jonson was cool back in the Miami Vice Days but that doesn't mean I was gonna start dressing like him and go all sock-less and shit, haha. Oh well to each his own.So a bunch of other really cool stuff happened on the trip, but as with Las Vegas, "What goes on in Miami, stays in Miami." I gotta keep some things for myself, y'know?
Anyway, came home and jetted over to PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES in Glendale with my asst. Jennifer where we took a meeting with the head honchos over at PLAYBOY. To my surprise, the bigwigs offered me- tada - my own twice a week, live, national talk show on the PLAYBOY called "NOONERS." That's right, o my brothers, starting Wed, April 7th you will be able to see I, your loyal and humble narrator KURT LOCKWOOD live, twice a week (Wed. 10:30a.m. -11:30a.m., and Thurs. 9;00 a.m. -10:00 a.m. PST) on the PLAYBOY network. I will be co-hosting with a gorgeous young plaything to be announced (the newly-Metro-contract-free-xxx star GAUGE (see Gaugexxx.com is a front runner), It is also my understanding that BELLADONNA and CYTHEREA are also in the running. Anyway, after I agreed, we had a big photo-op. I've always wondered what it must be like to be a first round draft pick - the day they hold the news conference and present you with your first team hat and jersey. Well, as you can see in the pic, when the Playboy Higher Ups BUD LEE and JAMES GUITIERREZ handed me my Playboy hat and t-shirt and as the camera bulbs flashed and with the contract term$ still swimming in my head I couldn't help but wonder if this wasn't maybe just a little bit of what those guys must feel. Yep, I finally had my own little "first round draft pick" moment, haha.
There are a couple of other couples who host "NOONERS" when I'm not on. One of them is my good bud and fellow male pornstar BARRET BLADE of BARRETBLADE.com and the very hot HOLLY HOLLYWOOD of HollyHollywood.com. Ye eagle-eyed KURTLOCKWOOD.com readers will remember HOLLY from my October 21, 2003 journal entry with subsequent XXX pics. Anyway, I grabbed a quick one with the three of us for your enjoyment.
So, I'm looking forward to talking with you all in "real time." So check your local listings and call me on my new show starting next Wed.!
I'm shooting two scenes for Van Styles over at VIDEO TEAM this weekend. So check back soon for more updates!
peace and love
KURT LOCKWOOD
p.s. "Condoleeza" must be Swahili for "Bush lapdog." Why can't she testify before congress about the 9/11 disaster but she can go on every single dog and pony show on t.v. to disparage Richard Clark, the only one with the guts from the former administration to critizice Bush in his recent book about Bush's slow-to-implement anti-terrorist policies at the beginning of his administration and for the Iraq war which he feels (and I agree with) actually undermined the war on terror by creating more terrorists and martyrs and reasons to hate the U.S. VOTE KERRY '04!
posted by Kurt