Kurt Lockwood - Kurt's Journal

PORNSTAR DEATHMATCH!!
Hey, everybody!

Jeez some days... Today I shot for a major porn company. I'm going to omit the major names but you'll get the jist. So I'm only supposed to be doing dialogue today opposite another guy in the biz. This guy gave me attitude from the time I entered the studio onward... Halfway thru the day, the production manager informs me that they're changing things and now the girl who I was going to do just dialogue with in one scene is now going to blow me, too. Ok, fine. Well it turns out that the girl I was now going to do a BJ scene with has worked with the other guy. So what do they do? They start kissing and playing grab ass with each other. Whatever. I fuck everyday, I don't care. I'm not so desperate for pussy that I have to be all over chicks I'm not working with like that. So, we get to the point in the scene where she's supposed to blow me and the guy suddenly pulls out his dick and starts jacking off while the girl is starting to blow me. Then he starts saying"yeah, suck that cock." then he tells her "Look at me while you suck that cock, baby. Just look at me." Now you have to understand, I stopped doing boy/boy/girl scenes months ago. I don't like doing them. There's just too much sausage at the party for me...NOT TO BE HOMPHOBIC but I'm greedy with the pussy, haha. So anyway, I lost it and I said, "What the fuck?" Suddenly the director says, "Oh I didnt' know that you didn't do boy/boy/girl." At this point I've had it. I said, "why don't they just do the scene themselves?" And that's what ended up happening. The unprofessionalism on that part of the other actors was just mindboggling at this point. Work is work and play is play. When I am on a set, even if I have worked together with a girl a million times, I don't touch who I'm not working with. It's disrespectful, rude, and definitely unprofessional. Everybody else from Evan Stone to Randy Spears has been ultra-cool to me and I've finally come across my first jealous hater prick. He totally came in with the attitude that he was going to weasle his way into the scene with her one way or the other and he did it. Whatever. I still got paid full rate even tho no sex. I'm just sad and befuddled, o my brothers, that I now have a bad opinion of one my fellow male porn stars. I am just trying to do my job and he did his best to fuck it up to try and show me who's boss or King Dick or whatever. Doesn't fucking matter. I'm still going to work, still going to get nominations and possibly more awards, and leads in big budget features and I'm still gonna make a ton of money and fuck the hottest chicks and there's not a damn thing he can do about it. Well, earlier in the day I had booked this particular girl to do a later shoot with me where she was gonna get paid $800. I cancelled that right away, haha! OF course, as soon as I do that she's fucking leaving me messages and e-mails telling me how sorry she is and how hot she thinks I am and wants me to come over to her house and smoke pot with her and do... I said to her, "You're a strange cat. You give me zero vibe today even tho we're scheduled to have sex, you make out and play grab ass with another guy on the set, harsh my day, and now you want to tell me how hot I am and you want me to come over and smoke? Hmmm. By the way, as I was typing this, the major porn director at the major company called me and said it was just that there wasn't enough communication and that after this movie that he wouldn't put me with this guy anymore. Unfortunately I still have to act opposite him all day tomorrow. Sorry, just had to vent. I try really hard to shield you guys from the more, shall we say, rather unpleasant aspects of the industry, like all the backbiting. But this was a milestone and I think just the sheer disappointment in someone who I used to think was an all right guy has really fucked with me.
Anyway, wish me luck tomorrow and hey, keep those e-mails coming! I love hearing from all of you!

peace and love

KURT LOCKWOOD
Kurt on February 6, 2025

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