| MIAMI OR BUST!!! "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life-it goes on." - Kierkegaard "The Good Book says, 'We may be done with the past, but the past isn't done with us." -as quoted in the movie, "MAGNOLIA," P.T. Anderson Hey everybody! Welcome back. Been sick. That's why I haven't updatded. Sorry. Being sick sux. I'm trying to get myself together for my cross-country red-eye flight tonight to MIAMI (Welcome to MIAMI, haha, thanks to Will Smith I've been hearing the chorus to that inisipid tune in my head all week!) I'm going to take the digital camera with me and bring you some cool shots of the southeastern most tip of our great country when I get back. I actually used to live in Florida for a year and a half from sixth grade to half of seventh grade because my stepfather got an engineering job at Disneyworld/ Epcot. I hated it. Of course, I lived in Orlando and NOT Miami but I don't think at that age it matters much. I hated the humidity, the schools were slower, the kids were all about the "south will rise again" and called me a "yank" because I was from the north, BALTIMORE, MD. What the fuck? They were also much faster socially. At sixth grade the other kids were already experimenting with sex and booze and a little grass. No hard drugs, tho, it was a simpler time then I suppose. I remember being quite overwhelmed by the whole experience and the end result was that I became such a problem child that my own dear mother shipped me off to go live with my father and his girlfriend (my future step-monster) back in Baltimore who I hadn't really seen besides birthdays and Christmas for twelve years. There ya go, a rare llittle glimpse into my childhood for ya. So many of you have written me and asked how I ended up in porn, what was my childhood like, yadda yadda. Well, ever see "Red Dragon?" No shit. Thank God for PUNK ROCK, haha. Plus as the old saying goes, "Success is the best revenge," n'est pas? But enough about me, what do YOU think about me. (haha, sorry, old joke) So, I'll be gone for a week so I don't know how much I'll be updating. When I do get back, you will be interested to know o my brothers, that I'm scheduled to take a meeting with the producers over at PLAYBOY TV to host a twice a week show for them where you will be able to call in and speak to me, your loyal and humble narrator, Kurt Lockwood, and a gorgeous young plaything and tell us live what you want me to do to her...yum!! Let's see what else...you already know about my feature in THE FACE UK magazine is onsale now at your magazine stands that carry British imports, my two episodes of SHOWTIME'S "FAMILY BUSINESS" are currently running (check your local listings, haha) and oh yeah, my feature in the issue of NEW WOMAN UK I'm told is underway for release and should be available to be in your hot little hands very soon. THe great thing about these magazine articles that have come out about me is that it's put me in contact with peeps I haven't spoken to in years, haha. I guess I'm suddenly interesting and worth "looking up," haha. Whatever, I'm an "all's well that ends well" kinda guy. I've missed alot of these folks and it's great to hear from them all again even if it is for whatever... In fact, one such kind soul sent me the Kierkegaard quote I posted above. And regarding the second quote, if you haven't seen "MAGNOLIA" you MUST rent it, get it, do anything you can to see the first fifteen minutes. It will fucking blow your mind. Unfortunately, the rest of the movie was not as compelling, I'm sorry but I just don't share P.T. Anderson's love for the improvisational ramblings of the great John C. Reilly. And if I get compared to DIRK DIGGLER from P.T. Anderson's BOOGIE NIGHTS one more time.... (Don't believe me? Check out this review in AVN about one of my features http://www.avn.com/index.php?Primary_Navigation=Reviews&Secondary_Navigation=Title_Review&Action=Show_Review&Content_ID=46565 ) BUT the first fifteen minutes of MAGNOLIA tell three stories about amazing coincidences that if they are true, then I don't know about you, but to ME it definitely proved the existence of a higher being. There ya go, what other movie utterly confirms your belief in God in the first fifteen minutes? Do yourself a favor and check it out. Ever since that movie, I look for amazing coincidences in my own life. I think that's where we find the traces of God's unseen hand at work, in amazing coincidences that we can't explain. I think that when we recognize these coincidences and are aware of them, it is my personal belief that it is God giving us a pat on the back, telling us we are where we are supposed to be according to HIS plan. There, didactic enough for ya? haha. Anyway, get back to work before your boss catches you looking my naked debauchery and you sue me and it's a big mess haha.... peace and love KURT LOCKWOOD p.s. Okay so Afghan troops have Osama's right hand man surrounded. Countdown to Osama's capture begins and I'm predicting his capture two weeks before the Republican convention. Karl Rove, George W.'s, chief policitcal advisor is just fucking evil incarnate and if those Afghan troops wrap it up quick enough I have a few ideas as to who they can go after next, haha. I mean, have we ever REALLY found out Dick Cheney's "secret un-disclosed location?" I'm sure those Afghan troops would know exactly where to find him...in fucking HALLIBURTON'S board room, haha. By the way, the L.A. Times is reporting today that our esteemed Vice Pres. took a hunting trip with Supreme Court Justice Scalia on taxpayer dime (Airforce Two). This wouldn't be such a big deal except that the Supreme Court is about to rule on whether or not ol' Georgey Boy and Dick should be forced to reveal the contents of their "secret energy meetings" with the likes of ENRON RAPER-Presidential compadre Kenneth "Kenny Boy" Lay. You see, Cheney doesn't want all the "you scratch my back I'll scratch yours" with his corporate cronies to get out. So he takes a little "hunting trip" with one of the ultra-conservative judges on the Supreme Court who is deciding whether or not BIG DICK will be forced to tell the American People what went on behind the closed doors of the Oval Office, something in there about it being "The people's business" they were conducting sort of got lost on the ol' pacemaker Veep. So they take a "hunting trip" where the uber-macho he-men hid their corpulent fat asses in bushes and blasted at little, defenseless animals with high-powered guns. Why don't these "he-men" ever go hunting something a little more dangerous and with the odds little more even? Just once, I'd like to see Scalia and Cheney go tiger hunting with just a couple Bowie knives. (If they'd like to take me up on my challenge I will gladly pay all expenses, haha) But seriously, of course, Scalia denies anything was said between he and BIG DICK about the case and Scalia refuses to recuse himself like he should from the hearing. But gee, I wonder what they really DID discuss, don't you? Fucking crooks. Let's be done with this nonsense come November. I liked it better when our Presidency was about "blowjobs" and NOT "snowjobs." (Two points!) Vote for a REAL-Vietnam-war-hero-Harley--riding-botox-injecting-JOHN KERRY unless of course, you like living here in the God damn FOURTH REICH. Also, there's a new movie called "Dawn of the Dead," out now whose tagline says, "When there is no more room in hell, the dead shall walk the earth." OK this is the ONLY reason I can think of as to why ASHCROFT didn't recently bite the proverbial "big one," haha. p.s.s. Have great week everybody. See you in Miami (South Beach or bust baby, fuck yeah!!) Kurt on March 19th, 2025 |
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