There must be some kinda way outta here, said the Joker to the Thief / There's too much confusion / I can't get no relief / No reason to get excited, the Thief he kindly spoke / There are many here among us, who feel that life is but a joke / But you and I we been thru that and this is not our fate / So let us not talk falsely now / the hour's getting late / All along the watchtower / princes kept the view / while all the women came and went / barefoot servants, too / Outside in the cold distance, a wild cat did growl / Two riders were approaching / and the wind began to howl...
- "All Along the Watchtower," written by Bob Dylan popularized by Jimi Hendrix.
Hey everybody!
Welcome back. Well, by now I'm sure you've all heard about the two HIV cases currently shutting down the adult industry. Until it all blows over and the dust settles or whatever, a lot of us are exploring alternatives. I mean, despite the fact that we fuck for a living, my release form that I have filled out and signed hundreds and hundreds of times tells me clear as day, that yes, we are also "models." So I got the call from men's magazine called "DETAILS." They were doing an article on how here in California, the AA meetings are turning into great places to "network." So they booked me for a shoot at the STANDARD Hotel on the Sunset Strip in Hollywood. As I pulled the BMW (Bat Mobile West) into the valet I saw this gorgeous model-esque chick step out of the car in front of me. I was stunned when as I was getting out of my car she turned to me and said, "Hey, are you Kurt? I'm shooting with you today." Wow, thought I, not a bad start. We headed up to the hotel room together and was immediately greeted by the French photographer, Matthias, who had just photographed t.v. celeb hottie Jessica Alba semi-nude in the desert the day before. He explained to me how he liked his work to look, he wanted the most "high fashion porn" look he could achieve whether it was for mainstream or not and that they wanted me specifically for the shoot because I wouldn't be "inhibited." Which is true, after once watching things in porn like Ariana Jolie gang-banged live by twenty plus guys once in every orifice, I don't think that a couple of shots with a topless hot mainstream model chick was gonna throw me for any loops, y'know? At first they wanted us in the hotel pool, but it was just too damned cold. The wardrobe they put me in was this bathing suit that was very Euro, I'm not talking fat Italian dude on the beach in a fucking speedo, but let's just say it was a better cut and more material to it than a "speedo." Truthfully, I would've felt more comfortable naked. In fact, like when I shot for mainstream magazine"The Face", when they put clothes on me, I just fucking drop trou and change right there, naked as the proverbial "jaybird," all cammando and shit. I mean I think every other "talent" in our industry is the same way. We make our living naked, it's second nature to us. Besides when your body is your business, you work out obsessively (or you should!) and that tends to boost your confidence to be a little less reluctant to be naked around strangers. But you should see the looks on the "wardrobe" peeps. You'd have thought they never saw a cock before. It secretly gave me a little chuckle. So ixnay on ool-pay. How about the hotel hot tub? The Standard has no hot tub so scratch that. The balcony with the stunning view? Ahhh that's the ticket! Great, thought I, they wanted me to have "wood" for the shot albeit clothed "wood," and I was relieved to learn that I would not have to accomplish this in freezing water in the freezing outside. But just as I breathed a sigh of relief, they said "Ok, Kurt we need to get you dripping wet, and soak that bathing suit so that we can see everything..." Damn! Two minutes later I was dripping wet shivering on the windy, cold Standard Hotel Room Balcony with a hot, big-titted, topless, rayven-haired beauty draping her statuesque frame all over your loyal and humble narrator, o my brothers. Oh yeah, and they put a glass of water in my hand (this, of course, was to symbolize, you know, sobriety or something, haha) When it came to the "wood" issue in the freezing breeze, luckilly, I guess my model partner took a shining to me as she bit my neck and let me explore her heavenly body (and she was a mainstream model chick! no porn! score!! haha!) And tho I didn't get to fuck her (sniff sniff) it turned me on so fucking much that I the "wood" arrived ahead of schedule and stayed for the duration. I'm trying to get some pix from the shoot to post for ya (mainstream mags are little bit more protective of their letting you take behind the scenes pix unfortunately) Anyway, before I left the photographer "Matthias" was informing me that he wasn't sure how much the magazine would keep of the shot, waist up, chest down, full body, whatever, but that they would put my name next to the pic. He said the shot will run in either the June or July issue so keep on the lookout for that! We also made plans for a future shoot in NYC and another shoot out here on the left coast. Matthias wants me to be in a "Coffee table book" of arty hardcore shots that he is putting together. They paid me on the spot. That's the cool thing about "modeling" as opposed to being there as "Kurt Lockwood." When it's just promo for you, as in my feature in "The Face," they don't pay you. But I felt like I got the best of both worlds, they were using me as a model to illustrate one of their articles which meant I got PAID, but ALSO they said they'd run my name (and possibly website) so I get that in there, too.
Whew! I think the whole "HIV scare" currently in the porn biz is being completely overblown. I'm not trying to be callous here, my heart and prayers truly go out to all my fellow porno peeps, but when you compare just how many thousands of movies are made each year by how many hundreds of performers, and over the last five years since the last "incident," this unfortunate happenstance is actually a very, very small one. Unfortunately, it is a deadly one. Now before any of you mainstream "civillians" out there look down your collective noses and go "tut-tutting" in condescending tones, and start uttering nonsense about "getting what they deserve" or "God's vengeance" as I've seen some nutjobs on t.v. commenting. Remember... we are tested for HIV / Chlamydia / Ghonnorea EVERY thirty days. Despite the multitudes of sexual partners we may have (see all my previous journal entries) we are actually MUCH safer than anyone you would pick up at say a bar, or a gym, or hell, anywhere where you meet people who have NEVER been tested. Capiche?
In closing, I have received a record number of e-mails from all of you that has just buried me in back-logue. I'll try to get to you all soon, I promsie. My little website that you are currently reading hit a record 250,000 hits in one day nearly crashing my server! I can't explain it. I'm thinking somebody must've mentioned it on t.v. or something. Anyway, I appreciate your concern. I haven't worked with anyone on any of the lists of people who have been "quarantined." And since I don't do boy/boy/girl scenes, as the biz goes, my one boy one girl scenes are probably pretty much as safe as you can get as far as scenes go. As of my last test I'm negative and I intend to keep it that way. Luckilly, it seems that cooler heads are prevailing and some of the "gonzo" companies are beginning to shoot again, at least oral stuff. I mean, if it's true what our medical testing facility (AIM-who I tip my hat to a most incredible job they have done! Thanks Mitch and crew!) then the second generation of exposed peeps have a less that one percent chance of getting it. I'm sorry but that's a risk I'm willing take. If a girl has is not on any of the "quarantine lists" and she has a current test, I'll work with her. Quid pro quo. We can't shut the whole industry down and put thousands out of work for 'less than one percent." Quarantine the first two generations until the "grace period" is over sure, but let the rest of us get back to business. Nobody ever said it would be safe to do this line of work. It's what we do. That's what makes us notorious, infamous, rebel, societal outcasts who live on the edge, whatever you wanna call it. We are who we are - you play by the rules (no risky outside behaviour) and you assume the risks. Additionaly, I've received requests by media for interviews but I've turned them down. I'm sorry but I don't want to see my name mentioned in a quote in an article that concerns HIV that I'm not even in the quarantine lists for. It's not my place and I don't want the gig. And I think that forwarding one's own fame or fortune on the misfortune of others is pretty fucking evil, but to each his own. Some people see this happening and see "OPPORTUNITY" in great big fucking letters and it just sucks. Plus, it's so interesting how the same names that keep appearing over and over again alongside quotes in every articles as "industry spokes-people" aren't even current "talent" who work with others in the biz, these talking heads aren't directly affected, or truly "in the trenches," so to speak. P.u.b.l.i.c.i.t.y. What's worse, is I've read where some of these non-elected "spokespeople" are also giving their own "dime-store psychology" about all the reasons we who work as "talent" are in the biz in the first place, like money, fame, etc. The most ludicrous of this was that we are in it for our own "webpage," haha. Or because we think it is a backdoor to Hollywood, but we end up on this side of the hill (mixed-metaphor NOT withstanding) Like what does any of that have to do with the situation at hand? Save the pontificating, ye porno pundits. Just the facts, please. So there ya go. I'm scheduled for oral/bj shoots on Tues and Thurs. I don't want to mention it's for are as there is a huge "PC witch-hunt" going on right now against companies who are not being scared stupid and are realizing that with the proper precautions, as with all things, this too shall pass...
peace and love
KURT LOCKWOOD
p.s. As I said, I'm gonna try to get some pix from the shoot to run for ya, but until then enjoy this recent pic I took of my doggies! (Tyson on the left and Rudy on the right)
Kurt on April 17th, 2025